Sometimes I feel dumb, other times I feel smarter than a fifth grader and occasionally I feel intelligent (the latter is rare but it can happen). Then someone does something that either offends me or hurts me and the word FORGIVE floats around my head....never going anywhere or doing anything except literally floating in and out of every thought and action ~ it consumes me!
I know, I know to forgive is good for your heart and soul.
but, sometimes I figure why forgive if there is a small part of my brain that "still thinks it's your fault"...doesn't that make my act of forgiveness wrong?
I like this quote....it doesn't excuse their actions! Maybe that is why forgiveness is hard for me....because I think by forgiving their actions it is saying that "IT'S OK TO ACT THAT WAY" or "SAY THAT AWFUL THING YOU SAID".... and I am more of a "Say what's on your mind kind of person".... I do think that most things I say are truth. Often it may be what others are thinking but obviously have better manners and don't say it and then my mouth just opens up and before I know it it has been said....I am not looking for forgiveness though. I am looking for discussions.....
Tell me why you thought that.
Lets discuss our views.
Lets share our thoughts.
Lets accept our differences....but, usually my conversations don't go like that....other people want to hold on too...its not just me. But, a lot think it IS ME.
So..... after I make others upset by my words/actions;
Or others make me upset....I ponder. I think. I wonder why....and then I start to let them go.
Just a little at first. I feel I take a step away. Before I know it I have taken many steps back. Now, weeks or months go by and I haven't spoke with the other or maybe my family. I guess the feeling must be mutual and we are better off apart because we can't talk/accept/be comfortable when together?
Well, I can forgive for that!!!
That is often my problem too....it takes time and yes, I guess I forgive or else I forget but, way under the skin, bones, muscles, veins, and heart there is a soul.
That soul remembers.
Certain emails, certain phone calls, certain situations never really are forgotten.
The peace is present.
Fun times are restored with some but not with others.
Life changes and everyone grows.....
As the saying goes ... something like this:
Some people come into our life and quickly go and some people come into our life and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.