As I sit here sulking and replaying the out of body moment I had earlier with my daughter I am comforted a little by the "inspirational daily quote above". Everyday is a priceless gift of God ~ LOADED WITH POSSIBILITIES TO LEARN SOMETHING NEW, to gain fresh insights.
Ms. Makenzie will be 18 this August. Sometimes I feel that if my kids display common sense and are independent thinkers than I have succeeded at this thing called motherhood. Other times I put WAY too much emphasis on common sense and being independent of ME.
Here's the truth ~ and my mom may feel differently, but I have never really asked her to. this. day.
My mom was and is a great mom. We have never really seen "eye to eye" on things. She and dad own a cleaning service so that kept them busy all evenings, early mornings, and we had summers or Sundays to catch up. Sure we also had the hour after school to talk...(before they went to work...or if it was my night to clean with them...we would also have time to chit chat while working) but, for the most part my sisters and I fended for ourselves.
Each evening mom and dad left by 4:00 or 4:30. Mom would have supper ready at 4:00 and then do a quick clean up and they were off. The evenings consisted of us doing our homework, watching TV, or hanging out with friends. Depending on the night and the "jobs" to do, they would be home any time between 9-10:00PM. They would grab a snack, ask us about school, watch the news or Johnny Carson and off to bed.
***Help? What stands out often is that kids nowadays seem to get a lot more help from parents***
Mom wanted to make sure we were going to pass our classes to graduate....that's it. If we got all C's...so be it. If we didn't understand something.....she said ask your teacher. If I didn't know information about a topic for a paper....sorry, look in your library tomorrow at school. We didn't have Google or Encyclopedia's.
When I decided I wanted to go to college...I filled out my papers, I arranged my tours, I talked with the appropriate people, I was on my own.
Today I see so many children dependent on their parents........
And I see a lot of parents enabling their children.
I am sorry but I am not one of those.
Today as I was mowing my hubby heard my phone ringing. Then he heard a message from Makenzie saying her keys were locked in her van and could we come with the spare.
.........It is now 9:15am and she was suppose to be meeting friends at 9:30 to help with a birthday party of 17 girls. The family needed another driver to take all the girls about 90 miles north to go cliff jumping for the day. Makenzie agreed to do it and now she would be late...........
Long story short ~ I freaked on her. I told her this was the third time at least that she has done this. That now the birthday party would get a late start. That she had no time to shower (she was running with her summer group when the keys got locked) so she will have to be sweaty on the drive and use the water as her shower. I gave her the ol' "be more responsible" talk. "Think about the what if's and consequences of actions"...........when I stopped for air she explained that they had hid their keys in the gas compartment.
What?! So they don't have to carry them.....but they leave the gas door open a bit so it doesn't lock shut. Get the picture? Well, turns out another girl got back to her van before her ~ grabbed HER keys out and forgot to leave it open....she shut the door. BAM! Makenzie's keys were locked.
IT REALLY WASN'T HER FAULT
I DID NOT KEEP CALM!!
I thought of myself. I tend to be a freak about time, when others are late and my schedule gets off I feel like they personally tried to do that to me. I got angry thinking this other mom would be too....she was not. She was calm....I need to learn from her!
(although, we agreed this in general didn't seem like the greatest plan of action for safekeeping your keys but, in general I made her feel like crap and now I too feel like crap!)
So once again I am sorry.
This was Kenzie in the stars and stripe shirt with her cousins over the 4th of July.
She is the sweet one of our family.....
she thinks of others constantly, she puts others first constantly, she doesn't like it when others feel bad, and yet I unleashed the bad mom voice this morning.
As much as I want independent, common sense thinking kiddos ~ I also want nice, thoughtful ones.
And I definitely have that!
Now I just need to learn to take a breath~
hear her story~
be a mom who can teach with out the preach.