(I don't know why but I feel these should be in numerical order. Although yesterdays ~ Part 1~ was pretty much being "over" my concussion symptoms and I numbered them even though they could have been lumped together as a BIG #1 of what I am over....so there I will start with #2 ...after all it is PART 2 right?)
2. FEELING like it is MY fault if my kiddos aren't "doing" more, "planning" more, "learning" more, "talking" more, "interacting" more, "growing up" more, dare I say "advancing" more, and being "independent" more!
(And no my kids are NOT infants, toddlers, or elementary aged children. They are 20, almost 18, and 14 in years of life on this earth!)
I know, I know blame it on technology. Because of these phones who needs to go do when everyone is homing swiping? Well, sorry but.....my children are hanging with the couch or their bed more and the only thing getting exercise are their fingers. They are swiping and liking all the activities it appears that OTHERS are out DOING!!!
I know blame it on social media because we all get caught up in finding out what everyone else is busy doing. Thank god there wasn't "social media" when I was in high school because the pictures we would be posting would be my friends and I slathering on the baby oil while forming our perfect "V" out of tinfoil so we could suntan for hours (the tinfoil V was so more sun could reflect off of it and onto our face...what were we thinking???) And that's only after pouring lemon juice in our wet hair. HAHA!! Boring maybe. Cancerous maybe. Stupid maybe.
Better than sitting on the couch with the friendly phone??
But we were learning....experimenting....interacting....talking...growing....doing....and becoming more independent.
UGH...who knows where I am going with this but does anyone else just want MORE for their children? That's all I want. I guess I am guilty for wanting my kiddos to experience MORE of life. More than their bed. More than the couch. More than the feeling of getting 34 or 134 LIKES on a photo....feel the burn, feel the sand in your toes...feel the crunch of the dried out, sun bleached hair.
However that only begs the question...Maybe they don't want MORE and who am I to make them think their life is in need of MORE? Mine is not theirs. Theirs is not Mine.
So the thoughts run a muck in my head.
You wonder why I still have post-concussion headaches and dizziness?!
I try to LET IT GO ~ like Anna and Elsa from FROZEN sing about; but what is that really doing me. The mother who is damned is you don't do enough. Damned if you do too much. And damned if you do your own life.
For now I am moving in the direction of being "Damned by doing my own life". As I stated previously my kiddos are older and the saying goes "we learned everything we need to know in kindergarten". My kids should then know everything and if they don't they need to figure it out on their own and or KNOW to come to me and ask if they can't. Right?!
waiting for Part 3......