Friday, December 9, 2016

Sometimes its best not to know in advance....

Warning: woman talk ahead..........

So its been 3 years since my last pap....yes, the lovely doctor appointment where we get to remember what its like to have a baby without obviously having a baby but undressing~lying on the table and spreading them as if we were....and when I called at the beginning of the week to make an appointment for blood work, a pap, and in general to talk about these "pre-menopause" feelings I am having the nurse said yes, you should have one.

Great.

But then the conversation kind of turned in my favor.  Turns out the first available appointment was Friday morning.  (My only day off) and the computer only allowed her to book the appointment for a "consultation" not a pap.

Oh, bummer!

Not.

I said I need to "talk" and want to have some blood work done so I took the time slot.  Knowing full well I would not be back for a while to have the pap smear done...hahahha.

As with days and nights and nights and days my appointment day finally arrived!!

I got there and truly felt great.  Just like on the day you finally have your hair appointment.  It never fails with me....THAT day my hair turns out great and I love it and almost kind of debate canceling the appointment.  Ever had that happen to you??

I waited a few short minutes and got called back.  And the day continued to be in my favor!! She measured my height (I have been 5'6" for years now) today however, I measured 5'6" and 1/2! I got weighed.  (expecting a certain number I was pleasantly surprised to be 3.5 pounds under that number!!) I started to think today is my lucky day!

Blood pressure ...great.
Pulse .... great.
ok...the doctor will be with you shortly...................

She came in and we chatted.  (I gave her my life story of emotions that I have been experiencing these past two months) She typed away at her computer like a mad woman.  I talked some more.  She typed some more.  Get the picture??

Finally, she says.....well, I see you haven't had a pap done for over 3 years.  We will do that today before you have your blood work done and I want you to schedule an appointment for a vaginal ultrasound just to rule out any other "issues".

Wait, wait, wait...........Did I hear you say I am having a pap today?

I didn't prepare for this. 

I didn't shower this morning.

Did I wipe good enough the last time I was in the bathroom?  (Come on, you've thought this too??)

I hope no toilet tissue happen to stick to anything under there. (Yes, this has happened too).

OMG..OMG...

Here is your paper to cover you and your smock (open in front) because we might as well do a breast examine too.  Oh, and I will give you the number to have /make a mammogram appointment too.  **deep breath** I don't really mind the thought of having a vaginal ultrasound but a mammogram....ugh!  I have had 2 so far.  

One went really well and one was horrible!!

When you have nothing, I swear, they have to pull harder to flatten it into nothing more.  **I would like to see a guy have to have that done with his "unit" (you know that one) then maybe they could relate to ONE little procedure that woman go through. ** 

Well, here we go....

No details needed here but, she and I did have a chat ~ during the procedure ~ whether its better to know or not to know that you will be having one.  We concluded with it was maybe better not to know....heck, I survived and I think she did too....she didn't tell me if I was clean enough or not but I am guessing she may have seen worse.

Now I wait..........I wait to get my blood test results back and to see if some hormone is out of whack or if its just my head that is out of whack.

Next,  I get to make my next 2 appointments.  All of a sudden I go from a hormonal, back-achy, crying fool to a "who knows what" getting all sorts of tests done.


What a way to end 2016.   


And once again....sometimes its better not to know what 2017 will bring.....








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