Monday, November 7, 2016

Empathy....maybe I just wasn't born with it????

Well, after having a long weekend for MEA break in October my kiddos and I got another one.  We (because I work for the same school district that my kids' schools are in) had Friday, Nov. 4th and Monday the 7th off for teachers to finish up end of the quarter stuff.

And I personally think they lump other holiday (days) off together; to make a long weekend thus, rather than having two Fridays off in a row because of Veteran's Day on the 11th......I think they honored that day today, giving us the long weekend.

Knowing I would have extra time with my kids I didn't mind the fact that my work offered a two hour Conscious Discipline workshop today for any who wanted to come and be paid to attend. Yes! Sign me up!

Conscious Discipline for parents, teachers, paraprofessionals, and others.  Its not about discipline as something YOU DO TO your children rather as something YOU TEACH TO your children.   
     ***Kind of reminded me of the saying; "Give a man some fish and he will have a meal for a day but TEACH him to fish and he will have food forever"***

The saying isn't exactly like that but I think you probably have heard it before to know what I mean.

Another words:

1.  It doesn't do much good to simply discipline the spirited child that talks back, throws chairs, hits, runs out of the room etc....we should talk, ask, show, explain and give other options rather than the one being displayed.

2.  Establish a "safe spot"

3.  Give value to the feeling.

4.  Acknowledge the act, how it made others feel and how he or she is feeling.

5.  Be assertive but not aggressive

6.  Breathe.

7.  Calm

8.  Remind the child ~ I am here with you, You are safe, Breathe, You got this.

9.  Your job is "This" or "This"

10.  Be conscious of our actions, sayings, body language and use the moment as a teachable moment not a Discipline moment.

And the thing that probably stood out the most to me****


We can be born with a sense of it ~ it being in our genetic make up already thus, we are predetermined to empathize with others more easily.  

However, as with genetics, not all genes are passed on to every member of the family.  One may have blue eyes while the other has green.  One may have orange hair and the other brown.  One may be a quick reader from age three while another may struggle all through elementary school.  One may be "naturally easy going and empathic" while the other "doesn't get why someone is sad, mad, or upset"........

If its not in our genetic make up than we have to be taught.  Taught how to feel.  Taught how to read more efficiently or taught how to be more organized.  

The lightbulb started to flicker in my head!!!

Maybe I didn't have that darn empathetic gene from the beginning....maybe, I needed to be taught how to be empathetic......maybe my parents missed the cue....maybe I became the "testy" child because I didn't know any better.  Maybe it wasn't just me being bad, rude, or different........

Maybe that's why I feel I can often relate to the "spirited children" in our schools a little more....

Isn't it funny how things work out sometimes?  I decided to go to this workshop originally because I thought I could use the 2 hour break from my kiddos after the long weekend off with them.  ;-)  Then I actually learn some information about MYSELF....which may help me be a better mom to THEM.

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