Friday, January 15, 2016

My heart was pounding, I started to shake and my saliva glands went bonkers in my mouth......

What happened?????

I found myself in the Valentine candy aisle recently at Target and realized immediately sugar is my drug/addiction.   I am pretty sure these crazy feelings that swept over me are similar to the feelings an alcoholic or a "druggie" gets when they have been cut off from their drug/addiction too.

I cut myself off from sugar on January 5th.  It has been 10 days without processed foods, breads and any extra sugary stuff that I use to consume.....especially in the form of ICE CREAM.  My drug of choice.  ;-)

However, never before have I had such a reaction to a candy aisle.

I literally had a mini anxiety attack.  My first thought when my eyes spied the chocolate hearts, the candied snack packs and the red, white and pink m&m's were ......I WANT THEM NOW!  And then I started the weird sugary addiction symptoms.  

Immediately I was like a dog salivating at his food.

My heart raced.

My hands shook wanting to reach out for any thing but being held tight to the cart knowing I would be throwing away 9 days of going without.

I quickly got out of the aisle.  Probably as an alcoholic should stay out of a bar or a druggie out of a party (where drugs may be??? I have no idea what those parties would be like thank goodness!)

Then what did I do?  My head raced when I realized my symptoms I just experienced were the direct correlation to sugar.  UGH!  I am addicted! I am an addict.  I acknowledged it and I owned it!!

And then I walked away.  Done.  I can honestly say I never felt so empowered as I did at that moment.  

I haven't had a craving for it yet and I haven't been back to any candy aisle since then.  (I mean its only been 1.5 days....ha!) 

I don't know what tomorrow will bring but here's to shaking off the sugary anxiety attack and living through it.  

1 comment:

The Skinny on Staci said...

Oh girl! Good for you! It's so frustrating because no matter WHAT the holiday, they are putting up huge candy displays!!! And they don't leave one single week where there is NO candy aisle, even if the holiday is still months away! Grr!

She did it and then I did it again.....

For as long as Makenzie has been in Cross Country she and the girls have had a tradition of drawing a fish and cross tattoo on the ankl...