Friday, January 15, 2016
My heart was pounding, I started to shake and my saliva glands went bonkers in my mouth......
I found myself in the Valentine candy aisle recently at Target and realized immediately sugar is my drug/addiction. I am pretty sure these crazy feelings that swept over me are similar to the feelings an alcoholic or a "druggie" gets when they have been cut off from their drug/addiction too.
I cut myself off from sugar on January 5th. It has been 10 days without processed foods, breads and any extra sugary stuff that I use to consume.....especially in the form of ICE CREAM. My drug of choice. ;-)
However, never before have I had such a reaction to a candy aisle.
I literally had a mini anxiety attack. My first thought when my eyes spied the chocolate hearts, the candied snack packs and the red, white and pink m&m's were ......I WANT THEM NOW! And then I started the weird sugary addiction symptoms.
Immediately I was like a dog salivating at his food.
My heart raced.
My hands shook wanting to reach out for any thing but being held tight to the cart knowing I would be throwing away 9 days of going without.
I quickly got out of the aisle. Probably as an alcoholic should stay out of a bar or a druggie out of a party (where drugs may be??? I have no idea what those parties would be like thank goodness!)
Then what did I do? My head raced when I realized my symptoms I just experienced were the direct correlation to sugar. UGH! I am addicted! I am an addict. I acknowledged it and I owned it!!
And then I walked away. Done. I can honestly say I never felt so empowered as I did at that moment.
I haven't had a craving for it yet and I haven't been back to any candy aisle since then. (I mean its only been 1.5 days....ha!)
I don't know what tomorrow will bring but here's to shaking off the sugary anxiety attack and living through it.