This time of year even more than on January1, when the typical thoughts of a new year are all around us, I tend to look back and get a little sad, mad, happy, frustrated, confused, upset, excited, and depressed. Yep, hubby said it a few days ago too. His words went something like this, "You think you get depressed in the winter, but I think this time of year is always a crabby time for you"...at least that is what I kind of heard as he headed down to the basement to get away from me and "my crabby time".
And you know what? I think he is right and it's true! My summer has caught up with me and I am ready to call it quits!
Hard to believe this was JUST LAST YEAR when the girls and I ran the Women's Rock 10k...I run 1/2 mile now and my knees kill!
The silly boy in back had his first year of middle school cross country. Minutes ago I dropped him off at the high school to begin his 7th grade season of CC with some of these same kids.
One girl was decorating her "SENIOR" Homecoming overalls and the other was just enjoying her first official "Freshmen" experience. They have changed, I have changed, we have changed.
Some changes have been good, some not, and in many ways we haven't changed one single bit and I think that is the problem that most depresses me at this point in life.
When will we really change to become more?
Why do we so often get stagnant? We want more and yet we don't want to work for it.
I may be the gold medal winner in this category. I care but I don't care enough to do more about it. I say I want change and yet I am lazy. It's not just me though, its in our family, our community and our world. The change we need is within our self and out there in every body else too.....and the funny thing is we ALL seem to want to COMPLAIN more than DO more.
Time passes and I think if only I had made those changes a year ago like I said I wanted to yet here another year has passed. I am stuck at the green light and not sure which way to go. Am I afraid of the "What next? What to do AFTER the CHANGE?" Will more be expected of me? Will I want even more? Do I have the energy for it? Is it the unknown I am most afraid of? Or the reaction from others ~ as to why the change in the first place?
My mind can run wild sometimes.....
today is one of those days.
It just started sprinkling here, the clouds are quite gray and we are expecting a downpour by lunch maybe the weather plays a bigger part in my life than I realized....
~ like the weather in MN ~
need to completely change every 3 to 4 months in order to become fresh and new again.