And I have to admit in the past I have made resolutions. I want to think mine lasted longer than others….maybe at least a month or two but, like others, my resolutions also fell off the top of my "Priority" list as the seasons changed and life changed.
Today, this morning, last night, and for the past few days I have simply been thinking "Why don't I care more about me to allow myself to be the BEST me I can BE?" (the words sting a little more than the others ~ they actually get personal)
And of course, my thoughts always drift to my relationship with food, exercise, stress, job, family, kids, the dog and cats, etc..etc…etc…
Flashback to Christmas shopping…..more specifically at Barnes n Noble….I came across a book called, " Secrets of a Former Fat Girl" by Lisa Delaney. I picked it up and read a few pages and boy how I could relate to her thinking!
I am about 3/4 the way through the book now….and the last chapter I just read hit home HARD! You know like the light bulb went off, the alarms started to sound, the bells rang….maybe you could even say I had the Big O moment and went "Aha!" That's It!!!!
* YOU ARE NOT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE! (thus, don't try to eat like them, exercise like them, be like them…..do what works for YOU!)
*Fat Girl programming drives you to eat anything and everything, overriding all common sense
*Ever thought on some level you use food to punish yourself too?
*Why else would you continue to eat when you are full, when you don't even care what you are putting in your mouth, when you know that what you are doing is unhealthy physically and emotionally? BINGO!!! (My Binge problem!)
* And when about to eat something say, "What is this food going to do for me right now?" Hmmm, good one! If I am really hungry it will satisfy my need for food and survival. If I am not, the answer could be fill a void, take care of my sweet tooth, punish me for being a freaky mom/wife, soothe my emotions so I don't cry over the lack of understanding happening around me? Well, if the later are the reasons I am about to eat…..I better NOT eat!!! No nutritional value I better NOT eat it!
* I have ISSUES with food like the alcoholic does with alcohol or the smoker with cigarettes and its time to dig deeper to solve those issues. ;-) OK….that sentence wasn't from the book…it was from my head. ha!
So, there you have it! No resolutions here just digging deep into my head and my heart to figure out ME a little bit more and enjoy ME a lot more. PLUS, it will help me have more energy and focus to get projects done around the house, be a better role model for the family (girls), and all around better person (or so I am hoping….its not too much to ask/think right?!)
New Year's Eve was just LAST night. We watched some stuff on TV and then I said Happy New Year to the family and went to bed about 9:35….I woke up at my usual 5AM and they are still sleeping. I can't wait to hear how the rest of the night went but that probably won't happen until I get home from the Y….time to exercise and start off the New Year right!
So who made it up until midnight?