Thursday, December 1, 2011

December 1st

Are you ready?

I am not....I know in the past I have thought this time is often overlooked as the rushing, buying, going crazy time of year...I know I have some times been a bit "crabbier" during this time of year...and YES, I know that I have been called a "Grinch" of sorts in the past.

However, this year is sooooooo different.

The (my) mood is more somber after Uncle Dave passed away so unexpectedly. The tree is up, some gifts have been purchased but..........I feel like I am going through the motions in a FOGGY sort of way.

Maybe its the fact........ that we have only a dusting of snow on the ground so the normal MN winter/Christmas feeling is missing. Maybe its the fact........that we purchased a new computer months ago...then agreed it would be our FAMILY Christmas Gift....however, now I find myself purchasing and actually initiating the kids to write up their "wish list" while thinking of the bills piling up? Maybe its the fact...........that I usually feel so lucky for all I have and wish we could do some thing more for those who don't have as much. However, this year we don't have any extra to do that. Maybe its the fact...........that it gets dark at 5PM and I have a little ~self diagnosis~ of SAD and it could be kicking in early. OR Maybe its the fact..........that I also have issues with eating when stressed. Guess what I have been doing more of lately? Guess how that makes me feel?

Now, on the other hand.

I am thrilled......... there is less snow b/c we haven't had to shovel or worry about slipping and sliding while driving. I am thrilled.......we have a newer computer even if it is slow at times. I am thrilled.........we are so blessed. I am thrilled.......the lights come on when it gets dark to brighten up the yard and remind me of the season. AND I am thrilled.......that Uncle Dave is free of pain and his illness and up with his mother and father during this so special time of year.

I am ready to start thinking about personal goals again. ;-)


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