Thursday, December 1, 2016

Late post but the rule is: there aren't any rules.

Well its Wednesday, November 30th and I for one cannot believe it.  Tomorrow will be December 1st the countdowns will begin (if they haven't already) until Christmas and the sugary treats will be made and consumed more often THIS month than probably any other.

And yet I still have thoughts of Thanksgiving.

It was just a week ago that we were traveling north with anticipation of gathering with cousins, eating turkey and maybe just maybe we would check out the lack of shopping in my smallish hometown on the so-called "Black Friday".

But why is it the images we have formed in our heads of what the days should be and what we think it may feel like aren't the reality of what happens?

Do we put to much pressure on ourselves to have the perfect experience?

Do we forget that everyone has different feelings and ideas as to what should be done and when it should be done?

Once during a summer gathering the following quote was mentioned:  "The rule is, there aren't any rules".  Another words, you don't have to participate in an activity if you don't want to.  (There is no rule saying you must) You don't have to feel guilty for not joining in.  You should not be made to feel guilty by others if you choose NOT to participate.  That is THE rule.  There is NO rule.

My mind have fun and enjoy what ever YOU decide to do and make the most of it!!

We lived by it that week.  It did take off the pressure of feeling you should go along with an outing even if all you wanted to do was take a nap.  And it memory serves me also alleviated any eye rolling that might come with someone declining an invitation.  You don't want to come, fine don't come.  (And don't be upset if you miss out on a lot of fun or story telling after).

The only thing wrong with that rule.........human nature has a nasty way of creeping in our heads.

Issue:  We might REALLY want the OTHER to join in.

Issue:  We may think all THEY want to do is lie around or play video games or watch Netflix or scan every social media site or avoid others completely.

Issue:  We may think they are choosing to withdraw and not interact because of the above mentioned rule.

Issue:  We may get upset when THEIR choices effect others enjoyment and attitude WHEN IN REALITY WE are the only ones in charge of our OWN enjoyment, smiles, and attitude.  Man reality sucks sometimes.

Or maybe that "so called" Vacation not the rule we want to live by....because it withdraws all control?!

Does this really only happen to me???

Sometimes it takes me a while to think through things.  I constantly run conversations over and over in my mind wishing I had said this or that and then coming up with completely out of this world solutions to every ones problem.  Yes, even the World's Problems!  

My mind runs amuck.

And what good does this do?  Where does it get me?

Um-------NO WHERE!

I become bear like.  I hibernate.  I may eat or drink a little much.  I develop a lot of extra stressors and it shows through things such as back aches, head aches, spine aches, stomach aches, and sleep.  I am exhausted from nothing physical but everything mental.

And above all else??  My menstrual cycle is whacked.  Which to any other 47 year old female that means....I am definitely in the beginning stages of menopause and my hormones are out of control.

Let the fun begin!!

Monday, November 28, 2016

Nothing says random like the following from Thanksgiving....

When two people are taking pictures and they are looking at the other...

When they try to recreate "Anakin Skywalker devilish eyes".....

 When a photo actually turns out!!

Tricky light during the bonfire with the dogs..

One tuckered out pup....and I just say "Brrrr..."

Another Thanksgiving over and I am pretty sure there won't be another one like it ever!

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Stages of wisdom teeth removal....

 Hey, we are here...I get to miss school for two days...

 Love this comfy chair....

 Life is good....
What? You say my mood may change?

Not too swollen...
but no "thumb's up"

And who wouldn't want a closer view of that look?

Yes, she had all 4 wisdom teeth removed on Tuesday.  Literally one day after the Cross Country season finished.  Perfect timing and now 4 days later....very thankful we are done.

Friday, November 18, 2016

One sentence per "Nike Regional Race" in S.D. picture....

 Roomies for the night looking happy.

 Me: Owen stand by this banner for a picture....and put on your fiercest looking face!

 Family support .

 Flyover before the Championship girls race began.

 They're off...our orange head is in the middle back of this photo.  ;-)

 She finished!
 All but 2 girls who ran that day, beautiful weather and a fun experience.

This is just good.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Randoms from my phone

 Kids busy making their "hand turkeys" to hang on our Thankful Tree....because I like to keep them busy and make them do something other than stare at their phones.....
 I got in on the activity too....and once again I proved that I cannot take a normal picture with a normal smile.  Although, the el'natural look I am sporting could be part of the problem too...

 And waalaa...the tree is up with our turkeys hanging proudly front and center.  When hubby got home I had him make a turkey too....its hanging on the tree so I guess I better get a new picture since we also make the old fashion paper chains to decorate it too.  ;-)

Then I had them compare their current hand turkey to the ones they made in first grade.  I think Owen's hand has grown the most....and he is the youngest of the three.

Monday, November 7, 2016

Empathy....maybe I just wasn't born with it????

Well, after having a long weekend for MEA break in October my kiddos and I got another one.  We (because I work for the same school district that my kids' schools are in) had Friday, Nov. 4th and Monday the 7th off for teachers to finish up end of the quarter stuff.

And I personally think they lump other holiday (days) off together; to make a long weekend thus, rather than having two Fridays off in a row because of Veteran's Day on the 11th......I think they honored that day today, giving us the long weekend.

Knowing I would have extra time with my kids I didn't mind the fact that my work offered a two hour Conscious Discipline workshop today for any who wanted to come and be paid to attend. Yes! Sign me up!

Conscious Discipline for parents, teachers, paraprofessionals, and others.  Its not about discipline as something YOU DO TO your children rather as something YOU TEACH TO your children.   
     ***Kind of reminded me of the saying; "Give a man some fish and he will have a meal for a day but TEACH him to fish and he will have food forever"***

The saying isn't exactly like that but I think you probably have heard it before to know what I mean.

Another words:

1.  It doesn't do much good to simply discipline the spirited child that talks back, throws chairs, hits, runs out of the room etc....we should talk, ask, show, explain and give other options rather than the one being displayed.

2.  Establish a "safe spot"

3.  Give value to the feeling.

4.  Acknowledge the act, how it made others feel and how he or she is feeling.

5.  Be assertive but not aggressive

6.  Breathe.

7.  Calm

8.  Remind the child ~ I am here with you, You are safe, Breathe, You got this.

9.  Your job is "This" or "This"

10.  Be conscious of our actions, sayings, body language and use the moment as a teachable moment not a Discipline moment.

And the thing that probably stood out the most to me****


We can be born with a sense of it ~ it being in our genetic make up already thus, we are predetermined to empathize with others more easily.  

However, as with genetics, not all genes are passed on to every member of the family.  One may have blue eyes while the other has green.  One may have orange hair and the other brown.  One may be a quick reader from age three while another may struggle all through elementary school.  One may be "naturally easy going and empathic" while the other "doesn't get why someone is sad, mad, or upset"........

If its not in our genetic make up than we have to be taught.  Taught how to feel.  Taught how to read more efficiently or taught how to be more organized.  

The lightbulb started to flicker in my head!!!

Maybe I didn't have that darn empathetic gene from the beginning....maybe, I needed to be taught how to be empathetic......maybe my parents missed the cue....maybe I became the "testy" child because I didn't know any better.  Maybe it wasn't just me being bad, rude, or different........

Maybe that's why I feel I can often relate to the "spirited children" in our schools a little more....

Isn't it funny how things work out sometimes?  I decided to go to this workshop originally because I thought I could use the 2 hour break from my kiddos after the long weekend off with them.  ;-)  Then I actually learn some information about MYSELF....which may help me be a better mom to THEM.

Friday, November 4, 2016

And this is what I call the dump....

 what were you thinking???

The smile on the boy's face is priceless....

The shock on my face ~ 2 days later ~ when I asked him if we could split the pile into 3 bags 
1. to keep
2.  for me to share with co-workers
3.  for dad to share with co-workers

and he said:
"Sure, it really is a lot for me just to eat!"

(just keeping it real!)